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Spirituality

Celebrating Yoga As an Important Part of the Healing Journey

Yoga is an ancient practice and philosophy rooted in Indian traditions.  The word “yoga” comes from the Sanskrit word “yuj” which means to yolk, or to bind. Yoga practices such as pranayama (breathing), asana (postures), and dhyana (meditation) are some tools that are used to yoke the outer self to the inner being, the capital ‘S’ Self. 

At the root of yoga philosophy is belief that our inner Self is connected to all that is: every human, plant, creature, molecule, and rain drop are all manifestations of one essence, referred to in Sanskrit as Brahman. The practice of yoga brings us back home to ourselves, and also connects us with the rest of the world. It is a remembering of who we truly are in connection with all that is. 

The earliest roots of yoga come from The Vedas, one of the oldest living scriptures from India dating back to the 3rd or 4th Century BCE.  Throughout the centuries, yoga has taken on many manifestations and forms.

In the 1900’s, Indian yoga teachers began spreading the power of yoga to the Western world.  Some of these teachers including Swami Vivekananda, Paramahansa Yogananda, T. Krishnamacharya, Patthabi Jois, BKS Iyengar, TKV Desikachar, and many more. As Westerners began working with the practice, it spread like wildfire.

Today, Yoga can be found on nearly every street corner in our modern world, with the primary focus being on Yoga asanas, or postures.  There are also many styles of Yoga asana practice such as Ashtanga, Vinyasa, Kundalini, Yin, Restorative, Iyengar and Yoga Nidra which can range from very energetic and athletic, to very calm & relaxing.  A yoga asana (posture) practice stretches and strengthens the body with the intention of moving subtle energy.  Do you ever feel stagnant or stuck? A vigorous Vinyasa practice can help you create heat in the body and feel more energetic.  Feeling exhausted or burnt out? A nourishing restorative or yoga Nidra can help restore balance to the body and calm the nervous system.

Yoga can also be an important part of any cancer journey. A recent study published by Helene Langevin at Harvard University found that stretching for 20-30 mins per day had a significant decrease in the tumor size in cancer cells, and helped boost immune function and reduce inflammation.  For more information from Dr. Langevin, see here.

Health and healing take into account a person as a whole being – body, mind, and spirit.  A yoga practice can be an important part of the healing journey and re-discovering your whole Self.  This was exemplified by Tigerlily yogi Catherine Odderstol who advocated for the importance of practicing movement regularly.

Tigerlily Foundation’s Pure Cat Initiative was launched in honor of Cat, a sassy yogi, who danced through life, spread light and joy with everyone she met, and who left us the gift of her eternal gypsy soul.  Cat was dedicated to helping others have a mind, body, spirit approach to health and wellness.  Cat has inspired us to honor her SPIRIT legacy, by offering patients, caregivers and loved ones access to programs that inspire them to light up life, focus on faith not fear, and as she loved to say, “Let Love be Your Frequency”.   

On this International Day Of Yoga, Monday June 21st, come practice yoga with us! Every Monday at 4pm, join your instructor & breast cancer survivor, Valencia Robinson for a nourishing, all-levels yoga class on Zoom.  This class is open to everyone and suitable for all levels of experience.

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Demystifying life with chronic illness

Truth be told, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones our spirit needs the most. These two pictures are forty-eight hours apart. That’s how quickly life can change. That is how quickly life with cancer and invisible illness can change.

At the beginning of the week I posted a video explaining the chemotherapy I had been on, was no longer working. The tumor on my brain has grown and stopped responding to treatment.

I woke up that morning, put on a full face of makeup on and a cute pair of jeans and headed into a “normal” scan appointment. Within six hours I was home after undergoing a new course of invasive direct tumor chemotherapy. My bright eyes and pink skin turned grey and pale within hours. My spirit was shaken and my soul was grieving to turn back the clock back forty-eight hours. Dressed to the nines, holding my glass of champagne by the water, without fearing cancer test results. I wanted to go back in time.

But sometimes the future changes quickly. And we are left with only one choice…. what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it, assuming the worst. Or we can step forward into the unknown and assume it will be fabulous. Knowing there is one constant in life and that is change. We can try and resist, we can try and turn back the clock and cling to yesterday. Or we can lean into faith knowing that our stories have a purpose.

I choose to share my story to help demystify cancer, autoimmune and even life. This week I had to look at life’s lessons and let go. I had to allow life’s lessons to strengthen my soul, my virtues, and my beliefs. Freeing myself from the past I cannot change or go back to. Looking ahead and focusing on just one step at a time. Recognizing I don’t need to conquer the entire mountain right now. I will continue to wade in the discomfort of the unknown with vulnerability and truth. I will be brave and face my fears so they don’t become my limits.

A diagnosis doesn’t come with an instruction booklet. No one tells you how to handle or manage your days. Most days we push through the pain, the exhaustion, the fatigue, the brain fog, the fear and mountains of guilt. In the blink of an eye our life can change because of our disease. Our goals, dreams and priorities are forced to take a different turn. So we become grateful for the little things and worry less about the big things. We leave behind the history of yesterday and determine how we will use today’s energy. This is life with chronic illness.

Wrapping you in love and light,
xoxo-Dr. Fab

Written by Dr. Fabiana Marie, N.D, MBC ANGEL www.fabulouslyfighting.com

Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental health is essential to everyone’s overall health and wellbeing, and mental illnesses are common and treatable. While 1 in 5 people will experience a mental illness during their lifetime, everyone faces challenges in life that can impact their mental health. Recognizing your feelings, finding the routines that lift you up, removing toxic influences and connecting with others can all help you on your path to recovery as you develop your own mental health tools.

Having Breast Cancer and Managing Mental Health:  It is important to be cognizant of mental health after diagnosis and during treatment. It is important to recognize that each woman’s journey is different and that being diagnosed with breast cancer can affect your mental health and that of your loved ones.

Some of the most common psychosocial concerns reported by women with breast cancer include:

  • Fear of recurrence,
  • Physical symptoms such as fatigue, trouble sleeping, or pain,
  • Body image disruption,
  • Sexual dysfunction,
  • Treatment-related anxieties,
  • Intrusive thoughts about illness/persistent anxiety,
  • Marital/partner communication,
  • Feelings of vulnerability, and
  • Existential concerns2 regarding mortality.

Managing mental health can make it challenging to do things that benefit your health, such as eating healthy foods, exercising, connecting with friends and family, and complying with medical treatment. However, the good news is that breast cancer and its emotional impact such as feelings of depression can lift over time, and the level of anxiety is likely to decrease.  However, it is important to note that if you feel anxious or depressed, ask your healthcare team for a referral to a mental health provider.  Taking care of your mental health should be a priority.

Join us for a series of virtual events designed to bring you practical tools to take action now towards a more balanced life!

Join us for a conversation on creating a healthy self care routine with Maimah Karmo and Esther Boykin

By taking care of yourself, you are encouraging a more empowered narrative, creating a life from a position of positive energy and creativity. The ripple effect of this type of action, no matter how small or large, positively impacts those closest to you on many levels.

Register Here

About Esther Boykin: In 2004 with Master of Science from Virginia Tech and a vision of making mental health widely accessible to all, Esther Boykin began her career as a marriage and family therapist. With her passion for therapy and relationships growing, Esther opened Group Therapy Associates a psychotherapy practice in the Washington, DC metro area.
Now, nearly 15 years later, GTA has grown to include multiple office locations and Esther has extended her reach to other projects to further her mission for healthy relationships and accessible modern mental health. As CEO of Group Therapy Associates, Esther launched Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word, which hosts events and retreats and is also engaged in philanthropic efforts with Sidewalk Talk and Black Love Industry Professional (BLIP). She also co-hosts With That Being Said, a podcast with Erica Turner, and is featured regularly as an expert on shows like Good Morning Washington and the Real Housewives of Potomac.

Join us for a conversation on finding peace in life’s storms and challenges with Patricia Fox

Life can present challenges that can sometimes feel disheartening. Spend some time with me as I share mindful meditation that will assist you with balancing your energy in times of chaos.

About Patricia Fox: Patricia Fox, also know as The Pink Sistah, is a young breast cancer survivor diagnosed in 2013 at 26 years old. Today she is a cancer advocate for young adults affected by dis-ease, offering beauty inspiration and wellness information.

About Mike Fanelli and Tanya Walker: Mike Fanelli and Tanya Walker are the Founder of the Alive and Thrive Movement. We know what it’s like to lack fulfillment and to experience feelings of inadequacy, guilt, anger and rejection that result in relationship breakdown. Something we both strongly identify with. If you are feeling misunderstood, disconnected and desire relationships/connections you are 100% in the right place. Our approach will transform how you attract others by meeting yourself in ways you never have. What is the best way to get what you want?  Be exactly who YOU are looking for!Invest in the most important person in your life – YOU.

Join us for a conversation on supporting cancer patients to live life now with Maimah Karmo and Angela ‘Jersi’ Baker

Most women experience at least some psychosocial distress during the course of their breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. The level of distress varies from woman to woman and, within an individual, over the course of diagnosis and treatment. Angela ‘Jersi’ Baker, Founder of Angel in Disguise, serves to support people battling cancer, affectionately called V.I.D.A.S. (Victorious, Inspired, Delicate, Angel, Survivor) with tasks they are unable to complete alone. They focus on breast cancer survivors and their families, helping them adjust to lifestyle changes and maintain hope so they can ‘live life now’.

About Angela Jersi Baker: Angel in Disguise was founded in 2015 by Angela Baker, a three-time breast cancer survivor who is currently living her life to the fullest with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. After her third diagnosis, Angela decided it was time to leave her job to focus on her health and helping other people. Soon after, she received a call from another woman fighting breast cancer asking for a ride to the doctor. She needed someone to not only to drive her but support her through the difficult treatments. Angela knew the hardships of fighting cancer and was there for her. She started handing out business cards at cancer institutes and receiving more calls from patients who needed transportation. It was then that Angela realized her passion for supporting and inspiring other cancer patients throughout their journey. She founded a 501(c)3 organization entitled Angel in Disguise Inc. to provide transportation and support to breast cancer patients in Charlotte, NC. There is an enormous barrier and racial disparity in health care, making it difficult for certain cancer patients to gain access to quality care and transportation. Angel in Disguise is bridging that gap. In 2018, AID helped eliminate the transportation barrier in Mecklenburg and Cabbarus county by providing 2,822 complimentary transportation miles and 180 waiting hours to cancer patients in need. So far in 2019, AID has driven 1,276 miles and provided 116 volunteer hours to underserved and underinsured cancer patients. Most patients are driven by Angela herself, a STAGE 4 Metastatic breast cancer patient.

Brought to you by the Pure Cat Initiative:

Tigerlily Foundation’s Pure Cat Initiative was launched in honor of Catherine Odderstol, a sassy yogi, who danced through life, spread light and joy with everyone she met, and who left us the gift of her eternal gypsy soul.  Cat was dedicated to helping others have a mind, body, spirit approach to health and wellness.  Cat has inspired us to honor her SPIRIT legacy, by offering patients, caregivers and loved ones access to programs that inspire them to light up life, focus on faith not fear, and as she loved to say, “Let Love be Your Frequency”.   

Click Here For Our Pure Cat Schedule

“Let Love Be Your Frequency”


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Caregiver Bill of Rights 

As a caregiver, you may easily find yourself being caught up with all of the day-to-day demands of caring for your loved one, and helping to make difficult decisions about their medical care and treatment. This could make you feel burned out. You need to focus on what matters so that you can strengthen your sense of purpose and meaning in your life. Taking care of yourself will allow you to better take care of your loved one. 

We’ve created a “Bill of Rights” that that you can follow as you navigate your caregiver journey. Read it below:

• I have the right to take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the ability to take better care of my loved one. 

• I have the right to seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I know the limits of my own endurance and strength. 

• I have the right to maintain parts of my own life that do not include the person I care for just as if they were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can do for this person. I have the right to do some things just for myself. 

• I have the right to get angry, be depressed, and express difficult feelings once in a while.

• I have the right to reject any attempt by my loved one to make me do things out of guilt or anger. (It doesn’t matter if they know they are doing it or not.)

• I have the right to get considerations, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do for my loved one, as I offer these in return.

• I have the right to take pride in what I’m doing. And I have the right to applaud the courage it has taken to meet the needs of my loved one.

• I have the right to protect my individuality. I also have the right to a life that will sustain me when my loved one no longer needs my full time help.

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Faith as a Foundation for Healing and Growth

“The View from the Mountaintop” by Lynda Gail Salmon, Ph.D.

Three weeks after receiving my Ph.D., I was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. It was a new mountain to ascend, but the trail had been blazed before me by my mother, who died in 1991 from the same disease. I lived in terror for five years when she was ill. 

Desperately wanting to save her, I researched healing techniques as diverse as color therapy and psychic healing. My mother’s walk with cancer was difficult and courageous. Chemotherapy left her only a shadow of her former vibrant self. After her passing, it took 10 years before I could even speak the word “cancer” without a visceral reaction.
Nevertheless, when I received my own diagnosis, the world as I knew it stopped. I died and was born again. I now had a new label: “cancer victim.” No, I told myself, I was not going to be a victim. I knew the dangers of living with a victim mentality. Further, the typical approach of battling cancer as a heinous monster within was unacceptable. I did not want a battle raging inside my body. For me, the rugged path up this new mountain must be marked with the spiritual signposts of light, love, forgiveness, and connection. I wanted to expand my consciousness and relationship with God. 

“I have God’s work to do! I can do this!” I reminded myself continually. “I scaled the Ph.D. Mountain; therefore, I am resourceful, resilient, and strong. During that climb, I was never alone. God led the way!” This knowledge became the serendipitous gift that helped sustain me through moments of darkness on my healing journey.

My mantras became: “Now is the perfect time to be happy.” “I am healthy and whole now!” “I shine my light and love wherever I am.” I no longer waited for all to be perfect to live my life fully and joyfully. 

My healing journey has required that I release the self-imposed limitations and false beliefs I had allowed to define me. I remembered my mother telling her minister that she was tired of people seeing her as a disease. Perhaps she had begun to see herself that way too. I realized I could no longer define myself by my mother’s experience, nor by my childhood, education, age, finances, marital status, or past pain. Who I Am is beyond those descriptors. 

As this awareness continues to deepen and unfold, I revel in the freedom that results from forgiving myself and others. While peeling away the layers of guilt and shame can be difficult, unexpected insights continue to propel my release and expansion. Thanks to the angelic outpouring of love and support from the people around me, I have lost my longtime fear of becoming ill while living alone. My intention to break free from what has bound me soars on the wings of faith.

I have walked this path for nearly two years, bridging my treatment protocol between the natural and medical worlds of health. My days are graced with new spiritual tools, practices, and mentors who bless me with their wisdom and spiritual understanding. Good nutrition, essential oils, prayer, healing meditations on YouTube, emPower™ positive music, and inspirational books rejuvenate my daily life and spiritual growth.

Throughout it all, I have continued to work, write school curricula, develop a summer program, serve my church as a prayer chaplain, volunteer, travel, and facilitate trainings, workshops, and retreats, bringing spiritual ceremonies and celebrations to others. I am fully alive, enjoying life, and expressing God through my thoughts and actions.

I continue to walk this path of transformation. I smile at how often I find myself dancing and taking in the miracles around me. I sit at my computer and ponder, What is it that Spirit wants you to know? Here is what I wish to share with you:

Beloved traveler, 
You may have just gotten a diagnosis, you may be well into the journey, or you may be a support for a loved one. It may be difficult for you not to define yourself by lab numbers, test results, and a body that is crying out. Feelings of helplessness may immobilize you. 
Always remember, you have the power to: 

Hold fast. Know that you are not alone. Hold fast to the realization that, “… with God all things are possible.” Hold fast to your spiritual perfection. Hold fast to the feeling and image of total health. Hold fast to giving and receiving love. Hold fast to expressing gratitude to the Divine. 
By virtue of our common journeys, I proclaim that if you Hold Fast to defining yourself as a magnificent creation of God, your Divine Ph.D. (Powerful Healing Direction) will bring you to a mountaintop experience. 
I’ll see you there!

From Never Alone: Facing Cancer with Faith (Special Edition), published by Unity World Headquarters.

Affirmations for Healing and Wholeness 

  • I am whole and healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
  • I am open to the wisdom of Spirit.
  • God’s healing power is at work in me now.
  • I am lifted up by the power of God within.
  • The peace of God lives in the quiet of my heart.
  • Divine life renews every cell in my body.
  • I am wondrously made of infinite love.

From Never Alone: Facing Cancer with Faith (Special Edition), published by Unity World Headquarters.

FAITH

Faith keeps me strong and confident.

Faith is an inner knowing that arises from my connection to Divine Mind. It allows me to move beyond the limitations of my fears.

Faith does not mean always being strong– but faith gives me the courage to take the next step knowing strength will come. It does not mean having a perfect plan, but moving forward assured that guidance and direction will be provided in a perfect way. Faith does not mean always getting exactly what I want, but knowing that my good is available in every situation.

My good may be a new idea or insight; it may be comfort, help, or a whole new way of living. Faith encourages me to keep anticipating the good. I am in awe of the blessings that continue to appear in my life.

And to the centurion Jesus said, “Go; let it be done for you according to your faith.” Matthew 8:13

From Never Alone: Facing Cancer with Faith, published by Unity World Headquarters. Get this free booklet (hard copy or digital): https://www.unity.org/publications/resource-materials/never-alone-special-edition

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Holiday Blog: The answer is, through gratitude.

For any person, coming upon the end of a year can make you feel like you are searching for all the promises you’ve kept, goals you’ve accomplished, and ways you became a better person. But as a young breast cancer survivor, how do you manage the expectations you would normally have of yourself, against the powerful knowledge that you are renewing your existence everyday as you fight this disease?

The answer is, through gratitude.

I was diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer in March 2018, at the age of 29. I had no family history of breast cancer or related genetic mutations, and I certainly didn’t fit the “typical” markup of a breast cancer patient. I was succeeding in an elite position in media relations, I was enjoying the new found self-love and growth that comes with ending a relationship that is wrong for you, and I was prioritizing the most important things in my life (family, spirituality, community and mental health).

When cancer walked into my life, it singlehandedly tried to transform me from a young, vibrant, flourishing woman into what felt like a body which was on this earth for the sole purpose of being kept alive.

The physical and mental pressure of chemotherapy, multiple surgeries, endless scans, hormone therapy and one year of infusion treatments pushed me to the edges of my body and my soul.

During that time, one of the most challenging parts of figuring my way out through a diagnosis that came out of nowhere was learning to love the person I was becoming versus the person I thought I would be. Specifically, as someone who had pursued higher education, a challenging career, and lived away from family all for the sake of achieving success, I had to make the decision to accept that this path, with all its darkness and fright, could transform parts of me I would have never met, and therefore bring me to a more powerful way of living.

As my body did its job – processing toxic medicines, keeping food down, and killing cells left and right – I needed to know that somehow, my mind and soul too had a purpose for going through all this.

Every three weeks when I travelled from Washington, D.C. where I lived and worked to New York City where my family was for chemotherapy, and required a minimum one week period to recover from the harsh treatments. The multiple surgeries which demanded a four to six week rehabilitation period. And the scans that lasted anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes of being trapped in a tube or under a metal plate. These were the times that became my opportunity to sit with the quiet part inside me that had been absorbing all the information from the doctor’s appointments, all the statistical research, all the lifestyle changes and all the reflections about my changing appearance. The quiet part which somehow got me through all of it, by being brave and strong in the face of dark newness. She was the quiet part which saw the tide coming and said “no, today we fly.”

I began to meet with her often, and eventually, outside of the times of waiting, anticipating and recovering. And every time I met her, I thanked her for not only how she was getting me through the present, but how she would make my life worth living in the future, through this very experience. I didn’t need proof, or a job offer for a better life awaiting me after cancer, I just trusted in the parts of me that had grown the ability to become quiet, that this would happen.

Through practice, when I came into my stillness, I developed the precious ability to distinguish my temporal suffering from actual positive shifts in my life path.

My cancer journey eventually opened up the chance for me to move back to my hometown, New York City, and start the philanthropic fashion business I had always dreamed of as a child. Through my cancer journey, I experienced not only the loss of identity that comes from hair loss, but also the shame and embarrassment that comes from being forced to wear fake hair or head wraps that make you look like a cancer patient. During my times of stillness throughout chemotherapy, I started to sew my own stylish head wraps since the fashion world lacked the options I needed. My quality of life changed when I created a solution which allowed me comfort and coverage while giving me back the elegance and vibrancy cancer had once stolen away, simply by being able to dress like myself.

Whether I was shuttling between cities or appointments, or trying to make social plans to live as normally as possible, my head wraps began to give me the confidence and courage to experience the world around me while I healed. Through my stillness and gratitude, I realized this problem is not limited to my experience only. And therefore the solution is inherently, not my solution only.

I now run my own fashion label, where women can shop for head wraps the same way the shop for clothes – by season and by occasion. Because of my experience, hair loss no longer stands between women facing cancer, and the experiences and places that bring them joy and healing.

I still sit with the quiet girl that lives inside me. The one that knows the value of understanding the difference between temporal hardships and positive shifts for the better.

The gift she has given me, in short, is the ability to seek moments and actions that will create gratitude within me. As I spend my holiday season continuing to express that gratitude toward myself, my growth, and my purpose in helping other women, I hope you will learn to practice that same stillness in your life. You are moving mountains every day. Each footprint forward should leave an impression of gratitude toward yourself throughout the year. You have earned every step, every moment and every glory.

Written by Sonya Keshwani (@NYMannequin), Young Breast Cancer Survivor and Founder of StyleEsteem (@StyleEsteem)

Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer

My name is Angela aka Jersi Baker. I am 48-years-young. I am battling this disease for the third time and am now living with Stage IV/metastatic breast cancer. In 2003, at the age of 32, I was diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer, which is the non-invasive form of breast cancer. My cancer was identified by my primary care physician who I was seeing that day to get birth control. After a mammogram and biopsy, it was confirmed that I had breast cancer. As a result, I had a mastectomy, reconstruction and took Tamoxifen for 5 years. I then went back to my “normal life” as a single mom, working and looking for a career change after having completed my master’s degree.

In 2010, I noticed a small bump on my skin, on my left breast. It didn’t hurt so I ignored it. A few months later during a routine checkup I mentioned it to my surgeon. My surgeon immediately started taking pictures and said that she would like to remove it. Once it was removed the pathology report later deemed it was in fact cancerous. Following the procedure, I had several rounds of radiation, and again I returned to what I thought was my normal life.

In 2012, my “normal life” took on an entire new meaning. I had a bad cold, and a weird noise, I could hear faintly coming from my chest, (although I thought everyone could hear it) so I went to urgent care. The technicians took x-rays and sent me home with a prescription. The next day when I returned home from work, there was a message on my answering machine from the hospital, asking me to give them a call. I failed to return the call because I was feeling better. The following day there was a follow up message stating “Ms. Baker, please give us a call we want to discuss your x-ray.” That got my attention, and I returned the call. I was told that they see some concerns on my x-ray and would like me to follow up with my oncologist. I made an appointment with my oncologist, I went alone, and he told me what he thought, but arranged for further test to confirm his suspicions. His suspicions were confirmed to be stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. On the day that he delivered the news that I have metastatic breast cancer, which was in my chest walls, spine, my mom was there to support me. I had no idea what any of this meant but asked I “what now,” and he said he would like to start me immediately on monthly shots of Faslodex and Xgeva.

I honestly didn’t know what to think or feel. I just knew I wanted to “fix it” and get back to life. My son was then away at college and telling him was my only concern. I also was set up to again go through about 24 rounds of radiation. I was truly on this journey alone up until this point, because I didn’t know all the questions to ask, any resources available to me, or anyone who looked like me and had the same walk. In 2016, because of nerve damage, uncomfortable feelings, internal itching and more, I decided to explant. I proudly call myself the #unoboobgirl. Last year, after being NED (no evidence of disease) for 7 years, my scans showed a reoccurrence and I have now added Ibrance, an oral pill taken for 21 days and 7 days off. After hearing about my reoccurrence, I worried briefly, and then remembered the Bible verse I live by Hebrews11:1- “Faith- The hope for things which are not seen but true.” My faith in God is strong, and I know without a doubt He’s GOT me! Although I am often tired, and have daily aches and pains, my mission and grassroots non-profit keep me busy and remind me of the people I need to help, inspire and support.

Written By: Angela Jersi Baker, MBC Tigerlily ANGEL Advocate

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Digging Deep – 2 of 4

Why me?

When I stop to think of my life and how it seemed at the time of diagnosis I can identify areas where I was unhappy or unsatisfied. I can admit that I was a people pleaser and the “importance” of self-nurturing was at the tail end of this alleged priority list of life. So I know that I was already in a place of questioning my beliefs, curious about the values I held on to and wondering how I could shift things a bit to make improvements. But what if that’s not the case? What if you’re happy with your life, content with the routine and relationships, going about your business and a diagnosis comes seemingly out of nowhere?
Then what?

Well, I think something like cancer is one of those occasions in life that forces us to look candidly in the mirror. Can we see our way from outside in? How does the reflection make us feel? If the inside of us were visible on the outside of us for all to witness, what would that image include? Cancer was an opportunity for me to stretch myself beyond what I knew, outside of what was comfortable. Was I really fulfilled in that friendship? Had I reached my full career potential? Were my spiritual beliefs based on someone else’s learnings or was the conviction strong enough on my own? Did I know enough about other people, cultures, beliefs to have a well-rounded perspective or was I afraid of what I didn’t know? Were the plans or goals I had for my life based on my own authentic view of who I was and what I wanted or did I easily buy into societal pressures without question? At any given point I seemed to have had more questions than answers and so I kept asking.

I continued to dig deep to explore what possible answers were hidden within ME. I participated in a healing journey workshop series offered at a cancer support centre near home and was fully engaged in the practice, the reading and the discussions. I continued reading books that weren’t previously on my reading list, I engaged in conversations with friends who could support my curiosity, and really I just sat with it. I sat with the “junk” of questions in my head, the emotions of all these new unknowns, the uncertainty of what was meant for my life and the wonder of how I would ever feel like ME again.

It certainly has become a lifelong experience. Along the way, I made decisions about my body that would change my “plan” to have children, I was drawn more to spirituality than to the religion I had been raised knowing, I let go of friendships I thought I wanted, that I longed for during treatment, and tried to embrace some solitude. I engaged in the practices of meditation, journaling, reiki that more and more become the “remedies” I turn to when I’m feeling off balance. I continue to be curious and seek to explore answers in conversations, in reading and really just listening to myself I think the gift of curiosity, the gift of question and conversation, the gift of learning, and shifting perspective is meant to be explored.

So why not now?

Written by: Lucy Santoro, Tigerlily ANGEL Advocate

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I’m not just Lucy with cancer. My cancer diagnosis is just a chapter. 1 of 4

Hmmm, how do I share the story of a diagnosis that happened ten years ago? Well, for starters I was way too young and breast cancer wasn’t in my family history at all. I was diagnosed in October 2009. Wow, TEN years ago!

Here’s what I have come to realize over the years…
? There’s no point in asking “Why Me?”, because truthfully, why anybody? I know that my diagnosis isn’t a punishment for something I may have or haven’t done. Honestly I don’t know why. Perhaps there’s a scientific reason, or maybe not even. I’m not sure I need to know at this point. But I will say that although I don’t know the grand purpose for being diagnosed with cancer, I’m confident there is one.
? Some memories, the ones of physical pain or emotional betrayal just seem etched in my brain and not easily forgotten. Yes, there’s mindful healing and forgiveness that can take place, but sometimes it just what it is. It’s not controlling my life and that’s okay.
? Being angry or emotional doesn’t mean I’m not a “positive person”. It simply means in a given moment I’m angry, or I’m sad. I read once that emotions are much like laughter – when something is funny we laugh, but we don’t laugh forever. So when I’m upset, I sit with it and find comfort in knowing it won’t last long. My emotions don’t change the essence of who I am.
? We often identify post cancer treatments, surgeries, life after a cancer diagnosis as the “new normal”. But isn’t change in general a new normal? It’s not always easy to embrace alterations in our lifestyle or the way our bodies look, or a shift in our careers or how our idea of “fun” evolves, but isn’t it possible that some change, whether forced or chosen, can be a good thing?
? It’s not all bad. Yes, the treatments were horrible and the side effects linger longer than I’d like them to, but in this entire process, over the years, I’ve found support, I’ve made new friends, I’ve evolved in my own personal and spiritual growth and really gotten to know myself better.
? I’m not just Lucy with cancer. My cancer diagnosis is a chapter (perhaps several) in the story book of my life. My life didn’t go according to my “plan” (or fantasy), but I’m taking the life I do have and striving to make it the best I can.
? I share my story so you can feel empowered to share yours. I share the difficult parts to reassure you that you’re not alone. Although you may feel that way sometimes, trust me, someone on their journey can relate to your age, your lifestyle, your family, your work, your fears….you are not alone.
? There may not be a “cure” just yet, but it’s been 10 years and I’m still here! And I want to celebrate that! I’m inviting you on a wellness retreat with me, so that you too may celebrate all of the steps that have brought you to this point. Come join me! (Email me for more details: Lucy.santoro08@gmail.com)

Written by Lucy Santoro, Tigerlily ANGEL Advocate

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What Cancer Taught Me: Advice from a Survivor

By Caitlin M. Kiernan

There is no question that a cancer diagnosis is life-altering.  I was never the same girl after my diagnosis.

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer I was a beauty director for a magazine living a very Carrie Bradshaw type of life. I was interviewing celebrities, previewing the latest makeup launches and getting invites to all the hottest restaurants and clubs. While my life seemed enviable, I was miserable. I was unchallenged at my job. I had a commitment-phobe boyfriend. And I viewed things through a “glass half empty” lens.

Cancer treatment leaves you a lot of time to contemplate your life. One question lingered: “Now that you have a second chance, how are you going to emerge from this journey a stronger, more grateful person?” That’s when I started to take a hard look at my choices. I didn’t want to live one more day, unhappy. I vowed to make the necessary changes, and my world evolved in so many amazing ways. Now I am engaged to a wonderful man. My first book, Pretty Sick: The Beauty Guide for Women with Cancer just hit shelves. Most importantly, I am the happiest and healthiest I’ve been in my entire life.

Having cancer give GAVE me a deeper appreciation of everything in my life and a focused purpose. That’s why I say, “Trouble is Transportation.” “Trouble” shakes up your life, steering you onto a different path. And it’s often that path, not the one you started out on, that enables you to fulfill your intended destiny. I know because I experienced this first-hand.

The following are some valuable lessons I learned when I had cancer.

Trust the Journey

Your path in life may have taken an unexpected turn but you are where you are meant to be. Don’t fight this by focusing on you “think” should be happening in your life. Instead, make the most of every day by being fully present in the moment. If you are too busy looking for what comes next or what other people have, you are going to miss the opportunities, lessons and people God has put in front of you.

Find the Silver Linings

Dealing with cancer is an emotional journey. When I was going through treatment, instead of trying to be positive, I looked for the silver linings instead. I couldn’t change the crappy situation I was in but I could change the way I approached and experienced it.

Give Yourself a Break

When cancer treatment started to affect how much I could do and how I looked – it made me feel even worse than I already did. Then one day, I had enough. The minute I stopped being my own worst critic and holding myself to all the unrealistic expectations I had imposed on myself, I immediately started feeling better. Just give yourself a break.  

Be Grateful

It’s hard to see life’s blessings, when you are struggling physically, emotionally, and financially. That is, if you are focusing on what you don’t have. Being grateful means seeing the blessing in every situation. Remember, life is hard, but you are still here. Many women on this journey didn’t get this far. Honor their memory by being grateful for what you do have.

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