When they take your “security blanket“ away

My breast cancer was ER (Estrogen) and HER2 positive. Because of HER2, my doctor told me that I will need a chemotherapy for the best possible outcome.

I know that some people struggle with the idea of chemotherapy and its side effects of loosing hair, not feeling well, but I was happy. Yes, you read it correctly! I was happy with this news, as I knew I’m doing everything I can to wipe out any possible cancer cells that may still reside in my body.

My protocol was 4 rounds of AC (Adriamycin and Cyclophosphamide) and 12 rounds of Taxol. With additional 17 Herceptin and Perjeta infusions. After all that, I had to do 28 radiation treatments. Although, all this may seem like a lot, it went through pretty quick.

My chemotheraphy infusions were my “security blanket”. Each treatment was followed with checkups and blood tests. I felt like with every treatment, I was receiving another layer of protection.

So when the time came for the last infusion, I started to panic. Over sudden my security blanket will be taken away from me. How can I survive with out? One of the infusion nurses sat down with me and told me that the way I was feeling is very common. Many think that once the infusions stops, the medicine stops working as well. She informed me that the treatment I received is meant to work for years and years to come. Deep in my mind I knew that, however hearing it from the professional made all the difference and put me in ease. I was able to accept that chemotherapy was over and my imaginary “security blanket” is still working but protecting me from the inside.

As scary as chemotherapy may seem to be, take it, accept it and treat it like extra layer of protection. Do what the doctor prescribes and when the time for the last round arrives, don’t panic. The medicine is still working.

-Izabela, ANGEL advocate